This Is How You Say Goodbye: A Daughter's Memoir

This Is How You Say Goodbye A Daughter s Memoir A razor sharp memoir in which a young woman travels to Cambodia Stockholm and Paris to overcome the legacy of her difficult and charismatic fatherWhen Victoria Loustalot was eight years old her fath

  • Title: This Is How You Say Goodbye: A Daughter's Memoir
  • Author: Victoria Loustalot
  • ISBN: 1250038669
  • Page: 310
  • Format: ebook
  • A razor sharp memoir in which a young woman travels to Cambodia, Stockholm, and Paris to overcome the legacy of her difficult and charismatic fatherWhen Victoria Loustalot was eight years old her father swept her up in a fantasy a trip around the world It was a grandiose plan and she had fallen for it But it had never been so much as a possibility Victoria s father was A razor sharp memoir in which a young woman travels to Cambodia, Stockholm, and Paris to overcome the legacy of her difficult and charismatic fatherWhen Victoria Loustalot was eight years old her father swept her up in a fantasy a trip around the world It was a grandiose plan and she had fallen for it But it had never been so much as a possibility Victoria s father was sick He was HIV positive and soon to fall prey to AIDS Three years later he would be gone.When Victoria realized that the grand trip with her father wasn t going to happen, she was devastated Her mother assumed she d get over it, that eventually it would become just a shrug But it didn t In the years to come, Victoria wondered what it would have been like to have been alone with her dad all those months, to see him outside of his sickness, beyond anything related to their family or their life To have been with him in a new context That s what she wanted And that s what she did.Some fifteen years after that initial promise, Victoria went to Stockholm, to Angkor Wat, and to Paris She went to the places they were meant to see together, and she went to make peace with her father, too Because while he d always be forty four, she d gone on accumulating birthdays Every year, her understanding of him continued to evolve and their relationship was still alive Victoria Loustalot felt trapped beneath all of the unanswered questions he left behind She needed to be set free She needed to say goodbye Get A Copy Kindle Store Online StoresAudibleBarnes NobleWalmart eBooksApple BooksGoogle PlayAbebooksBook DepositoryIndigoAlibrisBetter World BooksIndieBoundLibraries Or buy for ebook, 240 pages Published September 10th 2013 by St Martin s Press More Details ISBN 1250038669 ISBN13 9781250038661 URL Other Editions 4 All Editions Add a New Edition Combine Less Detail edit details Friend Reviews To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up Reader QA To ask other readers questions about This Is How You Say Goodbye, please sign up

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    Lists with This Book This book is not yet featured on Listopia Add this book to your favorite list Community Reviews Showing 1 30 Rating details Sort Default Filter Dec 04, 2013 John rated it liked it review of another edition Shelves bio and memoir, lgbt, library_books, travel Another impulse grab off my library s New Books shelf, which turned out in this case to be okay, though not great Really deserves that classic 2.5 stars option.Travel narrative aspect in Sweden and Cambodia were the strongest parts for me Author s search for the truth about her father wasn t as compelling Frankly, he didn t strike me as a very nice person, but rather shallow and full of himself like a narcissist Still, I could understand the motivation for her quest what I did not care fo Another impulse grab off my library s New Books shelf, which turned out in this case to be okay, though not great Really deserves that classic 2.5 stars option.Travel narrative aspect in Sweden and Cambodia were the strongest parts for me Author s search for the truth about her father wasn t as compelling Frankly, he didn t strike me as a very nice person, but rather shallow and full of himself like a narcissist Still, I could understand the motivation for her quest what I did not care for much was the whining about her current personal life So, would I recommend this one Not really, though I could see its appeal to children of gay parents, or those who have an interest in books set primarily in California flag 3 likesLike see review Sep 14, 2013 Megan Mills rated it really liked it I am pleased to say I lost my memoir virginity to this book It made me want to read nothing but memoirs and explore non fiction I laughed, I cried, I reread my favorite parts Go read it flag 3 likesLike see review Jul 11, 2013 Sarah rated it it was amazing I loved this book LOVED I want to buy it for everyone I know so they can read it and love it too Painful but beautiful and thoroughly enjoyable throughout I laughed, I cried I could go on and on, but I think you should just read it and then we can talk about it together And now I desperately want to go to Stockholm flag 1 likeLike see review May 03, 2016 Steve Hirsch rated it really liked it A touching memoir about Victoria and her father, or the memory of him After her parents divorce, and her father s death when she s eleven, she sets out to follow some of his footsteps, traveling to places he d lived and then on to places he d only dreamed about going flag 1 likeLike see review Nov 04, 2017 Angie Fehl rated it it was ok review of another edition This is Loustalot s memoir of how taking a trip around the world helped her make peace with the difficult, strained relationship she had with her father When she was just a small girl, her father came out not only as homosexual but also HIV positive Three days before her 11th birthday, he commits suicide Loustalot discusses how her father often talked of taking her on an international trip, so as an adult she decides to take the trip alone to have a sort of official goodbye to him On synopsi This is Loustalot s memoir of how taking a trip around the world helped her make peace with the difficult, strained relationship she had with her father When she was just a small girl, her father came out not only as homosexual but also HIV positive Three days before her 11th birthday, he commits suicide Loustalot discusses how her father often talked of taking her on an international trip, so as an adult she decides to take the trip alone to have a sort of official goodbye to him On synopsis alone, this seemed like it would be an interesting and moving story Unfortunately, Loustalot s writing style didn t do anything for me It was a little on the boring side for me and it seemed like I could feel a tinge of bitterness infused on every page Understandable, in a way, but something about it was ultimately off putting to me, as far as reading experiences go I couldn t help but get the impression that she was getting caught up in this idea that feeding off the melancholy would somehow solidify her as a creative type It seemed like she was trying to force profoundness into the tiniest moments and yes, I know that s typically where you have your profound moments, I m just saying to me, as the reader, it didn t come off as authentic here The idea of the book had potential, the actual writing style just didn t take it there for me flag Like see review Jun 07, 2018 Nikki rated it really liked it review of another edition Shelves non fiction, serious I am so accustomed to reading fiction that I had to keep reminding myself this was someone s life, someone s story That made it all the real and all the edges sharp When we read fiction, it s easy to empathize with the characters, to a degree, but deep inside we know that they are fictitious Not so, with this story It was beautifully written and I felt as if I made her travels with her, just observing from the sidelines I can t imagine the pain of losing a father at such a youn I am so accustomed to reading fiction that I had to keep reminding myself this was someone s life, someone s story That made it all the real and all the edges sharp When we read fiction, it s easy to empathize with the characters, to a degree, but deep inside we know that they are fictitious Not so, with this story It was beautifully written and I felt as if I made her travels with her, just observing from the sidelines I can t imagine the pain of losing a father at such a young age and also with the circumstances I told myself the pain would be less since you pick up this book knowing how it ends for her father, but reading it from her perspective actually makes the pain all the clear Out of everyone I think I admired the strength of her mother most of all It makes me smile to know that people like the author and her mother live in this world and bring their grace, strength, and light into it flag Like see review Nov 24, 2018 Brandy rated it it was amazing review of another edition Very colorful, touching story flag Like see review Sep 25, 2018 Audrey Ramautar rated it it was amazing I like the way the author described the main characters feelings towards her father despite her not experiencing who her father was while he was alive flag Like see review Jan 24, 2018 January rated it really liked it Devastatingly heartbreaking Shockingly familiar I have so much respect and love for her candidness and truth flag Like see review Nov 14, 2013 Liz Simmons rated it liked it Shelves books i read in 2013 My second book of the year that is the memories of a daughter whose gay father died from aids I thought Fairyland was a engaging and well written read, but they are pretty different stories Loustalot never felt like she really knew her father He kept separate households from her mother, and didn t tell her that he was gay and had HIV until they d been married for about 13 years He died when the author was only 11 The book describes her memories of her father and then her attempts to lo My second book of the year that is the memories of a daughter whose gay father died from aids I thought Fairyland was a engaging and well written read, but they are pretty different stories Loustalot never felt like she really knew her father He kept separate households from her mother, and didn t tell her that he was gay and had HIV until they d been married for about 13 years He died when the author was only 11 The book describes her memories of her father and then her attempts to locate and talk to people from his past She also goes on trips to places in the world that seemed to matter to her father Personally, I found these trips to be a distraction from the main story and didn t feel like they added much to the book Definitely worth reading, and a story that has not been told enough I m glad that this book was published flag Like see review Jun 08, 2013 Jen Dee rated it liked it An interesting though uneven memoir Just as Barack Obama s book Dreams from My Father focuses on a man he hardly knew, the author tries to reconcile her relationship with her long deceased father, who seemed to be a pretty bad, though not abusive, parent, while virutally ignoring her long suffering mother In one heart breaking passage six year old Victoria makes a key tray for her father in art class, only to have him throw it away because it doesn t fit his decor Full disclosure I know the An interesting though uneven memoir Just as Barack Obama s book Dreams from My Father focuses on a man he hardly knew, the author tries to reconcile her relationship with her long deceased father, who seemed to be a pretty bad, though not abusive, parent, while virutally ignoring her long suffering mother In one heart breaking passage six year old Victoria makes a key tray for her father in art class, only to have him throw it away because it doesn t fit his decor Full disclosure I know the author and her mother, and I actually ended up with some of her father s furniture and kitchen stuff after his death, but my observations above are purely from reading the book flag Like see review Oct 02, 2013 Monika rated it it was amazing A beautifully written memoir It manages to pull together childhood memories, moments from adult life and the blossoming of a romance , gorgeous scenes of travels, and fascinating retellings of Victoria s father s life in such a complete way Victoria s writing style is a magical combo of warm funny sharply observant Losing a parent at a young age is a very strange thing it s incredible to me how much insight and maturity the author had at such a young age to capture the complexity of her fat A beautifully written memoir It manages to pull together childhood memories, moments from adult life and the blossoming of a romance , gorgeous scenes of travels, and fascinating retellings of Victoria s father s life in such a complete way Victoria s writing style is a magical combo of warm funny sharply observant Losing a parent at a young age is a very strange thing it s incredible to me how much insight and maturity the author had at such a young age to capture the complexity of her father The book is very brave and so well done I highly recommend flag Like see review Apr 05, 2013 Kelsey rated it it was amazing It s a rare book that succeeds at being both sad and funny, but Loustalot s memoir had me laughing and crying, often on the same page Her prose is stunning and she tells her story with wry honesty As Loustalot travels from Angkor Wat to Sweden to Paris, trying to unriddle her father s past and character, the reader journeys along the full emotional spectrum The answers she finds help her better understand not only her father but her own approach to life and love A must read flag Like see review Dec 24, 2013 Karen Lausa rated it really liked it review of another edition Really wonderful memoir A journey of sorts through childhood and coming of age, realized through the young author s impressive writing and beautiful story of her brief but powerful relationship with her father It really is a love story, and reads with a fast paced pull that makes it difficult to put down flag Like see review Jul 07, 2014 eLLen rated it liked it This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here The author is brutally honest, has a sense of humor and knows how to talk about sensitive topics as she goes through the process of grieving and forging a relationship with her father who struggled with a crippling disease most of her life time flag Like see review Dec 22, 2015 Atara rated it really liked it Heartbreaking, funny, and touching A bit too saccharine and scattered at times Though the scattered ness also gave it depth and quality I m a bit of a mess from this book, honestly, so I m not making much sense The writing was very poetic Mostly loved it flag Like see review Jul 16, 2016 Susan rated it liked it I actually read this book a couple of years ago Some of it was familiar, but I guess it didn t make much of an impression because I was a long ways into it before I remembered reading it before flag Like see review Sep 25, 2013 Marie Galaz rated it it was amazing An amazing memoir that made me laugh and cry Beautiful imagery and an amazing use of time and space I enjoyed every minute of it flag Like see review Jun 23, 2014 Ted Krohn rated it really liked it review of another edition Shelves owned books Now all I wanna do is ride my bike around Angkor Wat Good memoir from someone barely older than me flag Like see review Sabet rated it really liked it Jan 04, 2017 Katie Bryan rated it liked it Jun 07, 2014 Mark Ferguson rated it it was amazing Sep 10, 2013 Vanessa rated it liked it Jan 02, 2014 Carol rated it really liked it Sep 25, 2013 Cait rated it it was amazing Jun 26, 2017 Sarah Cochran rated it it was amazing Oct 13, 2013 Molly Bagshaw rated it liked it Sep 19, 2013 Mary Alice rated it really liked it Apr 19, 2017 Kellend rated it really liked it Sep 04, 2018 Patrick Wellington rated it it was amazing Dec 17, 2014 previous 1 2 3 4 next new topicDiscuss This Book There are no discussion topics on this book yet Be the first to start one Share Recommend It Stats Recent Status Updates Genres Travel 4 users Nonfiction 4 users Autobiography Memoir 3 users Lgbt 2 users See top shelves About Victoria Loustalot Victoria Loustalot 32 followers Victoria Loustalot is the author of the three memoirs This Is How You Say Goodbye, Living Like Audrey Life Lessons from the Fairest Lady of All, and Future Perfect A Skeptic s Search for an Honest Mystic.Her essays have appeared in numerous publications including The New York Times, Women s Wear Daily, The Onion, Publishers Weekly and online for The New Yorker, where she previously wrote a daily Victoria Loustalot is the author of the three memoirs This Is How You Say Goodbye, Living Like Audrey Life Lessons from the Fairest Lady of All, and Future Perfect A Skeptic s Search for an Honest Mystic.Her essays have appeared in numerous publications including The New York Times, Women s Wear Daily, The Onion, Publishers Weekly and online for The New Yorker, where she previously wrote a daily column.Victoria grew up in California but moved east for college, graduating from Columbia University with a B.A in English after just three years of study She was also a Nonfiction Writing Fellow at Columbia University s School of the Arts, where she earned her M.F.A She now lives mostly in New York City but can frequently be found traveling and documenting her journey on Instagram, VictoriaLoustalot Books by Victoria Loustalot More Trivia About This Is How You S No trivia or quizzes yet Add some now renderRatingGraph 37, 35, 26, 6, 3 if rating_details rating_detailssert top rating_graph Company About us Careers Terms Privacy Help Work with us Authors Advertise Authors ads blog API Connect 2019 , Inc Mobile version

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    • This Is How You Say Goodbye: A Daughter's Memoir BY Victoria Loustalot
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    About " Victoria Loustalot "

  • Victoria Loustalot

    Victoria Loustalot is the author of the three memoirs This Is How You Say Goodbye, Living Like Audrey Life Lessons from the Fairest Lady of All, and Future Perfect A Skeptic s Search for an Honest Mystic.Her essays have appeared in numerous publications including The New York Times, Women s Wear Daily, The Onion, Publishers Weekly and online for The New Yorker, where she previously wrote a daily Victoria Loustalot is the author of the three memoirs This Is How You Say Goodbye, Living Like Audrey Life Lessons from the Fairest Lady of All, and Future Perfect A Skeptic s Search for an Honest Mystic.Her essays have appeared in numerous publications including The New York Times, Women s Wear Daily, The Onion, Publishers Weekly and online for The New Yorker, where she previously wrote a daily column.Victoria grew up in California but moved east for college, graduating from Columbia University with a B.A in English after just three years of study She was also a Nonfiction Writing Fellow at Columbia University s School of the Arts, where she earned her M.F.A She now lives mostly in New York City but can frequently be found traveling and documenting her journey on Instagram, VictoriaLoustalot

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  • Another impulse grab off my library s New Books shelf, which turned out in this case to be okay, though not great Really deserves that classic 2.5 stars option.Travel narrative aspect in Sweden and Cambodia were the strongest parts for me Author s search for the truth about her father wasn t as compelling Frankly, he didn t strike me as a very nice person, but rather shallow and full of himself like a narcissist Still, I could understand the motivation for her quest what I did not care fo Anothe [...]


  • I am pleased to say I lost my memoir virginity to this book It made me want to read nothing but memoirs and explore non fiction I laughed, I cried, I reread my favorite parts Go read it.


  • I loved this book LOVED I want to buy it for everyone I know so they can read it and love it too Painful but beautiful and thoroughly enjoyable throughout I laughed, I cried I could go on and on, but I think you should just read it and then we can talk about it together And now I desperately want to go to Stockholm


  • A touching memoir about Victoria and her father, or the memory of him After her parents divorce, and her father s death when she s eleven, she sets out to follow some of his footsteps, traveling to places he d lived and then on to places he d only dreamed about going.


  • This is Loustalot s memoir of how taking a trip around the world helped her make peace with the difficult, strained relationship she had with her father When she was just a small girl, her father came out not only as homosexual but also HIV positive Three days before her 11th birthday, he commits suicide Loustalot discusses how her father often talked of taking her on an international trip, so as an adult she decides to take the trip alone to have a sort of official goodbye to him On synopsi Thi [...]


  • I am so accustomed to reading fiction that I had to keep reminding myself this was someone s life, someone s story That made it all the real and all the edges sharp When we read fiction, it s easy to empathize with the characters, to a degree, but deep inside we know that they are fictitious Not so, with this story It was beautifully written and I felt as if I made her travels with her, just observing from the sidelines I can t imagine the pain of losing a father at such a youn I am so accusto [...]



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